February 2012
3 posts
As of late I haven’t had time to keep up with Tumblr. College is rough and my schedule keeps me pretty busy. If you feel you would like to stay in contact with me, below are some links to keep connected throughout the Internet!
Twitter
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Instagram: ashley_kf
Lately I have been afraid to share things so carelessly as I had once before. I’m starting to feel older and not as young and reckless as I was when I was sixteen.
I’m not sixteen anymore and I don’t want to stand at the edge of the world. Instead I sleep my life away waiting for something to happen.
As if anything will ever happen. I want to be sixteen again.
I learned about the blues from a boy that I once knew.
January 2012
9 posts
i just want to become something more than i already am.
20012012
for all the ghosts that i knew, i promise, you have potential too. tomorrow you will wake up and you will be alright. i want you to smile more and stop being afraid of living. but be quiet enough to listen to god. there is always something to be said about him. stop remembering every single memory like it is now. tell me that you will love fully, with your eyes open. love gentle and kind like the...
hallelujah:
sometimes i get real nervous that ill develop some mental illness later in life, sometimes i just get super scared for nothing. i terrorize myself with worst case scenarios when its really quiet.
“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to...”
– Charles Bukowski (via barbieandken)
Early summer 2010 I had the chance to check out House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. I thought it was a great novel and a lot of my inspiration came from that particular book. After the local library in my town moved locations I thought I had lost all physical contact with that book forever. I took my every-two-week visits to the library and always searched for it though it would never appear....
cool
#010512
lately I have been walking around my house with unkempt hair, listening to the monotonous sound of the floorboards hum as they have several times before. stumbling, half asleep i held my breath like the strength that i have kept covered beneath clenched fists. it’s winter again and i wish i could find all the right words in my head, but there are so many things i want to say and i need you...
1 tag
a lightning crashes across the window and in a million rooms lovers lie entwined and lost and sick as peace; the sky still breaks red and orange for the painters-and for the lovers, flowers open as they always have opened but covered with thin dust of rocket fuel and mushrooms
December 2011
12 posts
jenna2step:
It got dark. We broke our bones in...
perfectdestruction asked: i don't know if you know this song but it totally made me think of you and just you. It's called Listener- Wooden heart.
2 tags
Rest In Peace--
Everything was white and you said you weren’t scared because you had God. You finally received your invitation early Monday morning (nearly 8 months since the day). Under a leaden sky with winter did blowing it was time to say goodbye. Earlier that morning I listened to my Brother stutter words— stumbling over the unbearable truth. Memories were shared as tears fell from the...
Anonymous asked: You have a twin? That's exciting!
for there are brighter sides to life
and i should know, because i have seen them
but not very often
FINALS:
My weekend has consisted of me trying to pull out 1250 fitting words from my tired mind to complete my essay final for World Geography. If you want to do a peer edit, just for the sake of my “A” get at me!!!11 (I mean that).
Last week (which is really only three days) of my first semester as a college Freshman.
This means that I am legitimately stressing out about my GPA. God bless...
Falling into a slumber. Waking up and stretching. I have realized that I am still here. Writing hundreds of words that don’t make sense. It’s just like the day before. The day before that. Today will not be different.
November 2011
12 posts
thenighteverythingchanged asked: I'm not sure how it feels to have a stranger say this to you, so I'm sorry for that. But I want to tell you that despite what you may be going through, I often think to myself how much I just want to give up. Throw everything down and all that makes me different doesn't matter anymore. But there's nothing worse than being ordinary. Whatever it is, don't give up. It's...
i will feel like i belong in my skin
i am trying to find a way to live and tell these stories. if i am alive and you are alive we can only try to fill the air with our words. if i persist in being, i want these words to hold me in place. i may not be able to write something as delightful as one of your favorite poems. i have filled every day whispering the names of people that don’t exist. i am learning to smile soft and pure....
3 tags
everything sucks
1 tag
ich wurde für dieses bedeutet nicht
019
i promised that i would forget you by winter. by the time the sun falls down and goes to sleep. drunk from the heat, i never want to see the sun. as of late i have been broken, looking pasty. my inspiration has passed on. i can’t think straight. i didn’t know that it could ever be like this. there are things heavy enough and i hate to think that i do not care. like this is hardly...
we’re all sad, sinking ships. longing for daylight, but we can only dwell in darkness at the bottom of the ocean.
(i feel like swimming).
perfectdestruction:
http://sunwieldsmercy.tumblr.com/ <—- You are still the most beautiful person to me.
You’re far too kind. I miss you. I hope you’re doing well these days!
I think I just died twice (again).
sladegibbs:
if i published an all-new book of poetry (probably just on lulu again) would anyone buy it? it would have nothing that was in Blow Slowly & There Will Be Miracles (except maybe revisions of things featured at the end of the digital copies). It’d be arguably smaller, i bet, only probably 60 pages so i think i’d only ask like $12 bucks for it (earning only about $4 a copy). let me...
noshamenovember:
it’s the thirtieth of november and i’m not ready to be brave yet. (anonymous)
i am too crooked and repressed
words are colored red. i heard it was supposed to hurt. i felt it sting as my fingers touched the keys. i have been longing for something gentle and blue. something less rash and little bit more composed. i am too crooked and repressed to love you as i should. things are different and sometimes i feel a little better.
October 2011
5 posts
3 tags
following-sirius asked: Thanks a lot for the follow! I really appreciate it =]
“Sit in the dark so I can be by myself for a while
Sit in the dark so I can be off in this world for a while
When I drop off, what is there gonna be left to see?
Except suffocated thoughts
Suffocated thoughts of what you’ve done to me”
**
(Just because it’s been on my mind as of lately).
When I was 13, my father was buried six feet under; left to give his flesh to the earth and all of its inhabitants. When the crowd behind me had long concluded their vicious cries I knew my father was where remarkable winds blew, or rather no wind at all; warm and opulent, listening to the whistling rain fall from our eyes, the storm in our...
"it's the little things"
On rooftops beneath the stars with pain etched in our ribs from laughter, I knew the best way to fall was in love with strangers. I always thought it meant much more not to say, but rather feel. Amidst your drunken rambles about wanting and needing you failed to realize that time you woke the moon, but never took the time to enjoy it. As you were breaking, I started sinking in fear and let...
Lately I’ve stopped writing because I can only think of that time I was pulled from my sadness and I thought everything was going to be okay, but nothing has ever really changed.
September 2011
8 posts
“So here we are, eighteen wondering where...
2 tags
falling in september
I’ve been thinking about you. Your smile was the most crooked, but most beautiful thing I had ever seen. “I have never loved asymmetrically,” I said. I’m trying to break this monotonous routine where I wake up wondering if you will ever come back. I can’t wait to feel autumn crawl through my bones, wondering if you feel as I do. If you yearn for new beginnings like...
I’ve been here and there, but I’ve mostly been there (spending time with my MacBook).
1 tag
i woke up loving everything.
*
I’ve been depressed and distant.
I’ve been closing my curtains and hiding in bed.
I’m waiting for an excuse.
I’m waiting for winter.
untitled
i can feel everthing, but i know nothing that i can understand. i know what discomfort feels like at four in the morning when i’m desperate, but i know not what to say. it is not that i ever wanted to be understood, because i can’t explain this tension the way that i feel it. i like the way it is in my mind. how we’re living our seperate lives, but i can only imagine together,...
hibernation mode: activated
August 2011
9 posts
1 tag
"when my dad died, his soul flew right up in the...
i close my eyes hoping to catch what i have left of you. your ghost seeping into conversation with my broken mother. i was thirteen, praying to god (not only to find a way to get you back, but He was the last thing you taught me). i used to read your books looking for answers. i held the complexity of words in my innocent palms hoping to find reasoning. i remember that september evening after the...