January 2010
11 posts
Looking down at myself with detachment, accessing the damage, as if it wasn’t me but somebody else had to appraise. I wondered if numbness qualified as a chronic ache. I cataloged my surroundings: the squeaking, the urgent chatter, the white-washed walls. The smell of linen and metal and fear. I didn’t just notice all these things, I absorbed them, and decided I was saturating myself with...
I made it to state in the top 15 and I’m getting placed on February third so that’s really exciting. I sent my work down to Little Rock so I don’t have any pictures or anything. However, I kept my rough copy of my statement though so I’ll just re-type it here.. if anyone’s interested to read it. It’s opinionated and biased but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
A picture is supposed to say...
misery hits again
I could apologize and while doing so I could lie. I usually try to not let my feelings get the best of me. You could pull apart my lies - we never are who we say we are. Today really wasn’t one of the best days. I feel like I’m going back to that irrational state. I’ve been here too long. I’m replacing everything with anger or sadness. Along with self pity.. I don’t know, I don’t make sense. While...
i've been reading a lot
I think reading only encourages me to write more. I never follow through though. It’s not that I don’t have enough time - I have too much so I just misuse it. I started The Perks of Being a Wallflower today and I’m halfway finished. I decided to sit it down because once again it’s one of those books I don’t want to finish quickly. I may just have to read a few more times. I wrote down a few things...
well thought out
Pen meets paper. I should be sleeping - alas, impossible. Thoughts are persistent in my mind; an unsolved mystery written down on paper. Why am I here? What’s my motive? Evidence is everywhere unfortunately not recyclable. Untouchable yet tangible. I don’t know where to go - there are no directions. I feel undiscovered at the moment. If I pulled myself apart I don’t think you could classify my...
i can't sleep
This road has over taught me lessons about my lonely soul. I am young and getting wiser, soon I will grow old trip my heart from misconception. Fill my eyes with grief let me make my own connections in this endless sea
I’m writing, writing, writing. I think Tumblr has become my only true companion. Whenever I’m ready to fall I become lenient towards Tumblr and it catches me. It’s a big deal. A really big deal. Yes, I know it’s nothing impressive but I still feel the need to brag about it. I feel deserted from myself. After everything that’s happened in the past few months I feel like I’m pulling myself apart...
disconsolate evening i suppose
Here’s to a dull night. I don’t even know what’s wrong. I can’t distinguish fact from instinct. I feel vulnerable - too vulnerable at that. It’s late and I have only encountered the depths of loneliness. I wish I had something I could call a distraction. I wish something were here. However, there’s nothing. I can’t pretend something so genuine; I can’t even imagine. I’m afraid to go to sleep. I...
general
I am simply a soul that wanders the earth. I’m not quite sure what I’m searching for, but I’ve found some incredibly beautiful things thus far.
delicate senses
Love is a wonderfully fragile and yet exceedingly weighty thing. And although we must carry the hurt we cause another; we are likewise able to retain the love that is given to us and the love that we unreservedly give away. I hope you will find a small portion of caution and a large portion of hope. May your deserving heart always find hope, peace, and rest.
One day not terribly long ago I came...
the days come by so swiftly
It’s always the same. Today felt like one of those days where everything was meant to fall into place but it never really does. I spent the part of my day that I was awake trying to rearrange the order of my priorities. The circle will never break. The same thing will always remain. I’m scribbling the same thing, there’s no way to escape. I figured one thing though - I finished my AP World History...